On February 2nd, Anne Bogel from the Modern Mrs. Darcy Book Club asked readers to share what they are doing in their life right now to help lighten the load. I thought I would do the same this week on my blog. It’s the perfect mid-winter pause to reflect on what is helping me feel grounded in my life right now.

I’d love for you to share in the comments below this post what is saving YOUR life right now. (Hopefully you’ve shared in the comments section of my Instagram post on Wednesday of this week as well.)

What is saving me this winter?

HOME

My little home office has turned into my HSP sanctuary and retreat. When I’m in an environment where I thrive, it’s like a pressure release valve on my soul. For the winter season that means a soft, cozy blanket and a comfortable chair, sunlight streaming through a window (or time outside), a warm cup of tea, time to write, play with photography, or create, while surrounding myself with good books and gentle music (try these Spotify playlists: Parisian Morning Vibes, John Thomas Remington Radio, and Acoustic Chill.

I love escaping into a light drama/romantic comedy with relatable characters and some witty (but also moving) dialogue like Our Beloved Summer on Netflix or All Creatures Great and Small on PBS (*links may have sound).

GARDEN

Violas and bulbs* are in pots on our porch while grocery store flowers brighten up the inside of our home until it is warm enough to grow our own flowers.

We’ve had almost nightly visits from foxes, ringtails, coyotes, deer, and raccoons at our little water trough camera at the back of our yard. I’ve loved seeing the videos of their visits when we wake up each morning. To see wildlife footage in Central Texas, visit the Texas Backyard Wildlife You Tube Channel (*link may have sound).

WELLNESS

When I’m not in my HSP sanctuary, I’m making more of an effort to get outside with friends and family on walks and enjoying a meal or coffee outside with my husband and son when the weather is warm.

Big Heart Tea’s Farmer’s Chai and Fake Coffee are filling up my cup quite literally.

Taking time for rest. I love a 20-minute power nap.

Raising a teenager doesn’t come without its moments of complexity, but watching my son grow into the young man he has become has been the most rewarding experience of my life. Being his mother helps me stay grounded in ways that I can’t even explain sometimes. The wisdom that comes with being responsible for him means that I’m always weighing priorities and doing the work (mentally and physically) to create a home environment where we can all thrive.

CREATIVE

Making time in my schedule to create and learn means taking photography classes and diving back into collage and watercolor art practice if the mood strikes.

BOOKSHELF

I’m escaping into stories. Lots of them.

Engaging with the reading community through book clubs brings connection to my reading life. When I reflect on the books I’ve read with others, the new perspectives give me a deeper understanding of what I’ve read. This month I had the opportunity to participate in three different book clubs.

I just finished reading Before We Meet the Goddess* with the Modern Mrs. Darcy Book Club. This character-driven book spans the life of three generations of women and their struggle for identity in their various roles as grandmother, mother, daughter, wife, friend, and immigrant. The story’s focus on the strength and complexity of women as they make a place for themselves in the world was something that resonated with me deeply.

I learned about the immigrant experience through the author’s vibrant and often heart-wrenching descriptions. At only 200 pages, I’m amazed she was able to pack so much beauty and truth into such a short book. When the women in the book experience the freedom that comes from creating a life for themselves on their own terms, it reminds me of the description of the character, Bela, wearing her dance outfit for the first time.

“When she came out of the bedroom, she was wearing her dance outfit. The gold threads caught the light as she walked toward me. There was something otherworldly in the way she moved, the way she lifted her arms and spun around, the red-and-white silk blurring like an undulation of fire.”

- Before We Meet the Goddess by Chitra Banerjee Divakaruni

Austin Public Library’s YA Book Club pick for January was A Heart in a Body in the World* by Deb Caletti. This book will stop your heart a little with so many truths about the experience for young people (and women in particular) as they navigate the world after a traumatic event. A Heart in a Body in the World follows the story of Annabelle as she runs from Seattle to Washington DC while carrying the pain of her grief after gun violence has forever changed her life.

As with many YA (young adult) books, this book called on me to remember what it felt like to live a parallel existence in my teenage years and early twenties. The need to be a good student, daughter, sister, girlfriend, independent woman, volunteer, upstanding citizen, and part-time employee while at the same time move through the murky waters of early adulthood.

“There are so many colliding messages - confidence and shame, power and powerlessness, what she owes others and what is hers - that she can’t hear what’s true.”
- Annabelle from A Heart in a Body in the World

I recoil when I think of how ill-equipped so many of us are in our youth to process the events happening around us, especially the traumatic ones. How many times in our youth are we blind to events in school or outside of school or the pain of others because we are so wrapped up in our own lives and struggles or don’t know how to hold and process the emotional avalanche brought on by situations out of our control?

Alanis Morrisette was my soundtrack back then for good reason. She embodied the uncertainty, vulnerability, and sometimes anger and frustration that I felt in my own body and didn’t have a healthy way to express. Her songs and their progression mirrored that of my own over time. That type of healing, growth, and maturity can only happen with lived experience, support, and time. After typing this, I went to her website and saw that her 2020 album is called Such Pretty Forks in the Road. Making peace with all the wrong turns (the not so pretty forks in the road) I took along my journey and those that I had no choice in feels a lot like the cross-country run Annabelle is accomplishing in this book.

“Back in junior high, she learned that the long-distance run, tiring herself out, soothing herself with the rhythm of pace, helped the anxiety. It was like driving a screaming baby around in a car.” - A Heart in a Body in the World by Deb Caletti

The main character in the book, Annabelle, uses the anger and shame she feels to propel her forward to speak honestly about what gun violence leaves in its wake.

“People plus people plus anger is how things can change.” - Annabelle from A Heart in a Body in the World

As you can imagine, this book could lead to some engaging conversation and thoughtful reflection in a book club setting about what it means to walk this world as a woman, what it feels like to process pain and grief after a traumatic event, and, as for me, the huge responsibility of raising a teenage son in this complex world.

“My mission is to keep the light in your eyes ablaze. This nest is never going away.“ - Alanis Morrisette from her song Ablaze

For the community book club at my son’s school we’re reading This Book is Anti-Racist: 20 Lessons on How to Wake Up Take Action, and Do the Work* This book is great for continued conversations with your teenagers on how we can be an ally and an activist for change in our society.

Here are a few books I’m looking forward to reading:

Under the Whispering Door*

The Unseen World*

A Duet for Home* (pre-ordering this one from the author of the Vanderbeekers series)

COMMUNITY

“Be soft. Do not let the world make you hard. Do not let pain make you hate. Do not let the bitterness steal your sweetness. Take pride that even though the rest of the world may disagree, you still believe it to be a beautiful place.” — Kurt Vonnegut

Hopeful stories help me balance the news when I feel overwhelmed.

An 8-Year-Old Wrote a Book and Hid It on a Library Shelf. It’s a hit.

Learning to read at 51 on Instagram (*link may have sound) My husband, son and I are fans of The Repair Shop, so this story warmed my heart.

Engaging with our community has always helped my family to see the bigger picture in life. Helping teachers and staff at my son’s school by giving gifts to boost morale, donating to our local school district, helping local farmers and businesses navigate daily decisions and planning for the future, stocking our Little Free Library with books written by diverse authors, and helping out at our neighborhood community garden are all ways our family is trying to make a difference in our community right now.

What about you? What is saving your life right now? Share with us in the comments.

Enjoy your weekend! See you next week.