A LOVE NOTE . . .

I love the early mornings. I wake up before everyone else is up to hear the birds as they begin to sing just before sunrise. By 7:30 am, before everyone else is up, I’ve showered and dressed (maybe even made time for a bath), emptied the dishwasher or taken clothes out to fold, made some tea and read a little in my book. Depending on the day, before or after breakfast, I might light a candle or put on some mellow music (or lively if that fits the mood!), and then I’ll take a walk out into the garden. Before I begin to write or work on projects and house chores, I move my body in some way. These practices are all essential to my well-being. They all happen before 9:30 am on a good day.

Also, life happens. A day may begin abruptly and the things that I usually do to fill me up get pushed to the side. This is not an all or nothing practice. If the day goes off the rails, I know I can put any part of this practice into motion throughout the day or get outside and do something with my hands (preferably in the garden) or with my body (dance, yoga or a good workout with some weights), but it hasn’t always been that way for me.

On a particularly grey and rainy day I remember telling a therapist it was the perfect kind of day for curling up with tea and a good book. She replied quite surprisingly saying, “Well, why don’t you?” Hmmm….what a concept.

This season of grey and cold (or ahem…a year-long-and-counting pandemic) may be impacting many of us by pulling us into abandoning any promises we’ve made to ourselves to put self-care first. Maybe it leaves us feeling guilty for wanting to do so. We tell ourselves that there are so many BIGGER issues we must give our attention to and SURELY we must not come first. And, quite frankly, there ARE so many important and urgent issues that do ask for our attention. We get into survival modes of just doing what we think needs to be done and will help our people (and us!) through the day.

In the years since the epiphany of “grey day might actually just mean taking some time for tea and a book”, I’ve come to realize that taking care of myself is essential. Our society has made women feel as though it is selfish (cue the guilt) to put their own well-being at the forefront of their minds. Luckily, that mindset is changing a little at a time, but we end up being the ones to take on many of the responsibilities of caring for others in all of the facets of our life. Maybe you’ve noticed this in yourself or someone you love.

We give and give, but if we continue to drain the well, we will have nothing left to give. I’ve been there. Let’s just say it doesn’t feel really great at the end of the day and it’s definitely not healthy for me or for the people I love. I’m emotional AND sensitive AND I need my sleep AND I’m better with sunshine AND I’m prone to being overwhelmed. Having needs is being human. Understanding those needs and sharing them with the people around me cultivates well-being and the wisdom to fill up before AND often after situations that are draining. I encourage you to take care of the most important love of your life first. YOU!

This week’s blog post focuses on what we can do in the various areas of our lives to love ourselves a little more. Especially now. Especially for the long run. Even if you haven’t been very successful at it in the past.

If you know someone that could use a little boost right now, maybe you can send that person this post. It might just be the nudge to bring a little sigh of relief and the permission to love self first.

If you’re celebrating Valentine’s Day this week, give yourself the first gift. It will be a gift to everyone in your life. Use the good stuff you’ve been saving for just the right time.. Buy yourself flowers. Do nothing. Ask for help. Take a shower or a long bath. Paint your toes. Go for a walk. Take a 20-minute nap. Have a picnic on your lunch break. Have that tea and read that book. Create some boundaries for yourself (or call them well-being nest borders if you’d like) and share them with your kids, your significant other or your family so that they are aware of your need to nurture yourself. I think you’ll be surprised at their response. As a bonus, setting boundaries is great modeling for others as well, even if at first they may seem disappointed; your setting boundaries helps them practice empathy. Saying no to something allows you to say yes to your well-being. Fill the well often.

My husband shared this quotation with me recently, and it really hit home. Keep what is important to you close to your heart.

“And every day, the world will drag you by the hand, yelling, “This is important! And this is important! You need to worry about this! And this! And this!” And each day, it’s up to you to yank your hand back, put it on your heart and say, “No. This is what’s important.” - Iain Thomas

YOU are important. Your well-being is important. What we give ourselves is what we give our children, our families, and our communities.

(*If you see an asterisk next to a link, it links to a video with sound. Just a heads up in case you need to turn the volume down or pop on your headphones.)

HOME

The simple practices I put into my day are the key to my well-being. It takes a little practice to find out what those things might be for you. Experiment. Get it wrong. Pay attention to what feels good, calming, inspiring and joyful. Do a subtle adjustment as needed. Use the seasons as a guide.

Tea is a part of my morning and my afternoon. I love Hummingcup Tea and Big Heart Tea. Get yourself a cute teacup or set up a tea or coffee station to remind you to celebrate the pause in the day. Make a promise to yourself to drink it while the tea is still hot while seated in a comfy chair. I know I’m not the only one here who gets sidetracked and is left with cold tea… !

I go outside often throughout the day. In the morning, I check to see the seasonal changes happening in the garden, and I watch the birds while I write at my desk in our backyard workshop. When we added a window to our workshop space this fall, we didn’t anticipate what an amazing bird blind it would become.

GARDEN

This week I treated myself to some flowers from Animal Farm through Farmhouse Delivery here in Central Texas. If you love flowers, don’t wait to receive them. Pick some of your own, make a vase with just a few beautiful branches or buy a few blooms to brighten your space.

I’m also spending time in this season dreaming of creating bouquets from our own garden this spring and summer. I recently purchased Floret Farm’s: A Year in Flowers.

The ideas in this book guide you in creating natural looking bouquets using the seasonal flowers and foliage in your garden. Floret Farms has a FREE cut flower seed starting course on their website to help you get started.

I’m looking forward to using my vintage flower frogs ($) and floral clay adhesive tape in my vases to keep flowers in place. I’m inspired to create natural looking bouquets by using all of what our garden has to offer. After drooling over the Floret Farm’s seed collection, I picked out a few new plant seeds to try as unique filler for seasonal bouquets.

As some exceptionally cold weather rolls into Austin, I will only be able to dream about beautiful flowers for the time being. Our greenhouses, along with the seed starts, have moved inside. Our garden beds are covered, and I’m covering our mature citrus trees with non-LED lights to create a little heat and hoping for the best. We may even need to create a makeshift greenhouse to keep them warm like we did when they were just little trees. We’re keeping a close eye on the weather.

WELLNESS

Dance. No, seriously. I have danced along to the *The Boss Family Workout videos all year and it is always just the trick to put a smile on my face. It’s a great way to move your body when it’s cold outside. Invite the whole family to join you!

Be open to a little wisdom and guidance. My self-care journey began about 10 years ago with Carrie Contey. Dr. Contey changed the way I thought about caring for myself, especially as a parent. You can sign up for her emails or work with her online or just check out the many resources she offers. She’ll change your life by changing the way you think about caring for yourself.

Reach out to a friend or your group of friends. What can feel like an individual experience is often felt by many, but you’ll never know unless you have the courage to be vulnerable. Be awkward. Be honest. Laugh. It feels REALLY good to hear someone say, “I’ve felt that, too”. Maybe you can be that friend to echo an experience just by sharing your own story.

CREATIVITY

Give yourself the gift of calm morning or evening by making this DIY herbal bath tea.

Not so into DIY? No worries. You can get bath tea shipped right to your door.

BOOKSHELF

Take a REAL book outside and sit in the grass or cozy up and sit in your favorite chair. Pick a time of day or a window of time when you’ll read every day. Make yourself a place to land with a chair and a small table (or a bag with a blanket to take outside) so that all you have to do is go there.

If you’d like to make yourself a little bookmark to mark your spot, set aside a little crafty time and make one of these heart bookmarks from Mya Smart. If you’re more of a visual learner, you can watch the steps in photos on Pinterest here. You could also decorate your elastic bookmark with hearts cut from vintage postcards or pressed flowers.

Here’s an update on my TBR list for 2021…I have two books that went into my DNF (did not finish) list. I gave The Tourist Attraction (on audio) and The Kitchens of The Great Midwest (paperback) each a go until about the halfway point and they just weren’t really my style….and that is OKAY. The sooner I pass along a book that isn’t for me is the sooner someone who might really love it can get their hands on the book. I’ll be dropping my copy in a nearby Little Free Library until I get ours LFL up and running again. No guilt. I have lots of books I really want to read and it is totally okay to move on to one I love. (How about that self-talk?). Next up is The Girl in the Tower (book two of the Winternight Trilogy) and I’d Rather Be Reading. ($) Coming up in March, I’ll begin Their Eyes are Watching God and Dust Tracks on a Road by Zora Neale Hurston ($) as part of the Modern Mrs. Darcy Book Club spring picks.

In case you are looking for book recommendations for kids (or yourself!), gift ideas for all ages or want to peek into my TBR List for 2021, head over to the 52 Seasons Book Shop on Bookshop.org. ($)

COMMUNITY

It is important to take care of our neighbors in this cold weather as well. Our family is busy preparing emergency cold weather kits to leave on our sidewalk for those who might be passing through our neighborhood without a warm home.

When we see the world through another person’s eyes we are able to practice empathy. We are able to listen to each other’s stories and learn from those experiences. When we are unable to gather in these times, we can also experience empathy in the stories we read.

We must see ourselves and others in the books we read. Books are both mirrors and windows. When we read stories that are windows to the lives of others, we gain perspective on what others feel and the lenses through which they see the world. When we read stories that are mirrors, we see our own stories reflected back to us in a new light.

An organization which supports diverse authors and moves books that provide mirrors and windows into the hands of children is We Need Diverse Books. I encourage you to check out their incredible work.

I watched this insightful PBS show after it was forwarded to me by my husband this week, and I wanted to share it with this community. Even if you don’t live in Austin, these are issues that exist in every community. I hope that you will take the time to watch.

“This 30-minute PBS special provides an incredible distilled history, past-recent-present, of some of the systemic racial drivers that brought us to the Austin of today.” *Roots of Racism in Austin on PBS

Have a great weekend and be sure to leave a comment below on the gift you plan to give yourself or what’s on your mind in this season of your life.

"Do your little bit of good where you are; it's those little bits of good put together that overwhelm the world." - Desmond Tutu

If we all make a difference in our communities, that change will begin to happen on a global level. Change begins at home. What we teach our families MATTERS.

Thank you for taking time out of your day to read 52 Seasons. I’d love to hear your feedback and ideas so that we can grow together.

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